Sunday, July 02, 2006

Show #39: We Stole This Show From AWO

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This podcast sounds familiar... where have I heard it before?

0:15 The Denizens of Hell

Joel: Apparently its true, I am.
Dave: I wouldn't lie Joel, not about denizens.

1:21 Dary Surat: King of the Intertron... but no denizens.

Joel: Your pretty cool Daryl, but where your denizens at?
Dave: Actually, all the AWO people have twenty four denizens, they're all just very small.

3:20 Patlabor 1

Joel: Patlabor is a good movie, but it looks like the original Manga DVDs were pressed by hand.
Dave: And then run through a tractor engine.
Joel: Keith Burgess, why?!

4:30 Earth Final Conflict

Joel: That guy, the one with the pony tail, was cool. I guess.
Dave: Speak bad about Augur again and I'll molly whup you into a wall.


5:44 Planescape: Torment

Dave: Big boys don't have time to play computer roleplaying games.
Joel: Well they do, but only if they can beat out a gnat's attention span.
Dave: So I guess it's just me, then.
Joel: Pretty much.

7:10 M.D. Geist

Joel: Come talk to me when its Ninja Ressurection, Daryl.
Dave: Yeah 'really lame' has nothing on 'Evil jesus raping a girl with his dismembered finger'

10:16 CPM SpokesMecha

Joel: Not only is this a lame logo, the thing that makes it ostensibly cool, the "robot", is totally weak.
Dave: Football power armor, go!

11:13 Air Master

Joel: I saw about three minutes of this before Kathy walked in during a large breast joke. That was fun!
Dave: Enjoy TWELVE MORE EPISODES of it. After that it calms down... sorta. It's worth it, because Maki's totally the business.

"The business" = secret code for totally hot

14:38 A travesty

Street Fighter Alpha: The Lost Character

Joel: There were a lot of character designs in this game that were somewhat weak.
Dave: Joel, you poor naive man, you don't know just how much Rainbow Mika porn there is out there.
Joel: And you're pitying ME?

18:36 Orange Slices = fansubs = diabetes

Joel: That right there is science fact.
Dave: I was in the grocery less than an hour ago, looking at the orange slices, and I said 'no!! don't let the fansubs win!'
Joel: Don't be a fatty kids, don't download fansubs.

19:15 Psychonauts

Joel: This is probably one of the best games that has ever come out on any system. Visually interesting, consistently suprising and challenging. That's the trifecta.
Dave: Also it distracts Callan while I play Final Fantasy XI for six hours straight. Double bonus!

23:18 Number 9

Joel: This guy was the man. How can a machete be on fire? How?
Dave: That's like asking how the host can be both bread and Jesus. It's a question that cannot be naturally answered by the laws of common man.


24:35 Tim Schaffer

Joel: From now on I'm camping out in front of this guys house.
Dave: I'm gonna call the cops.

25:26 Resident Evil Design Scheme: Rinse and repeat

Joel: Basically, all they did with this franchise was clean up each game a little and then release it.
Dave: And add sweet-ass GIANT MONSTERS.

26:09 Gun Survivor

Joel: What should not have survived was this game.
Dave: And its creators...

27:33 Stokholm Syndrome

Joel: I like that we compare something as psychologically damaging as being held hostage, fearing for your life for days on end, with watching a lame T.V. show. Maybe, just maybe, we lack a little perspective.
Dave: Yeah right! I'd rather be held hostage TWICE than watch Evangelion again.


Daryl Surat said...

MD Geist's crappiness isn't really the entertaining type of awful the way that Ninja Resurrection is...some of the time, but rest assured that Ninja Resurrection is also in my "bad anime" panels. The entire sex scene is one terrifying thing after the other. The finger cutting, the severed digit crawling up HIS DAUGHTER'S COOCH, the raping a guy who's bleeding to death after having fallen through a building, the statue of the Virgin Mary crying blood, and of course, the fact that the entire building's awash in flame. And dare I ask: where the heck is that girl grinding down upon anyway?

In summation, Ninja Resurrection gets the nod for one of the most mindblowing sex scenes in [non-porn] anime. I still think Roots Search has the number one spot, though. Still, it's quite a ways for Amuse Video to fall, given that the only other thing they made before going out of business was...Giant Robo.

Gooberzilla said...

As the local Pro-Alternate Cammy Activist, it is my contention that Rainbow Mika is secretly Cammy in disguise, the better to fight Shadowloo and crime with the aid of El Santos and other brave luchadores.

I know what you're thinking: "But wait, Goober, what about Cammy's facial scar?"

Well, clearly she uses make-up to hide this blemish, so as to better maintain her secret identity.


Ah, Ninja Resurrection, aka Makai Tenshou. There's a chunk of my life I can't have back.

Okay, Daryl, indulge me. I've never seen Roots Search. How can any sex scene in it be more mind-blowing than severed-finger, burning-church, dying-reincarnated-Jesus-molesting, blood-crying-Mary-statue sex?

Joel said...

Let's everyone just take a step back from the brink here. I think "mind blowing" needs to be replaced with "stomach churning." Mind blowing is not an inherently negative term, and negative is an essential quality for anything that could possibly describe Ninja Ressurection.

As far as R. Mika is concerned, Goki's theories aside, that is still the worst costume ever.