Saturday, July 15, 2006

Show #41: I Really Should've Edited This

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Shownotes are delicious, and that is a straight up FACTOID.

0:33 Apocalypse Zero

Joel: Possibly the worst thing ever. And possibly I mean definitely. For the kids out there that's "mos def." No, not the rapper; the abreviation.
Dave: Actually, let's make it the rapper too. Blackstar was awesome!

0:58 Frontbeat Poster!

Joel: This will definitely sell ... at least one. Possibley to Dave's Mom.
Dave: Actually... my mom gets one for free. :(

1:52 Native Americans Cannot Catch a Break

Joel: First we buy Manhattan with some beads, vioalte Indian notions of ownership and then they get abducted by Aliens.
Dave: And then someone has the nerve to make a crappy videogame about them...

Help me, oh great ancestor Rips Off Star Wars!

3:57 Remember this ratio: 10 dollars - 2 hours of movie.

Joel: That is just a general figure, but game designers should memorize it. If your game isn't at least 10 hours long and a minigame or, with the way things are going now, six, it's not worth my time. What's even worse is that games are taking longer to come out and are still too short. Where is all the time going. I'll tell you where: its going into the furrows in Obi Wan up there's forehead. Nice grafix dood, its all about the nice grafix.
Dave: Prey was one of those games stuck in development hell for 10 years. We should've just assumed it would be crap, as seems to be the case with any game that takes more than two years to come out. How's Duke Nukem: Forever doing?
Joel: Not well... not well at all.

4:18 Cold Fear

Joel: One more survival horror throw away.
Dave: What are you people doing to my genre?!

6:18 John Leguizamo

Joel: House of Bugging. Oh snap! The arch of his career has been strange indeed.
Dave: I should've edited this out.

8:10 No its not.

Joel: I've never really understood wampum, luckily Dave's joke provides the perfect pretense to look into it.
Dave: Considering I'm too lazy to click that link, I STILL don't know what it is. That's my recipe for comedy!

8:45 The Trail of Tears

Joel: This is one of the darkest episodes in American history.
Dave: Used for great comedic effect!

9:30 American Adventures in Currency

Joel: Man, petty theft would have been a lot better when people carried this much cash around.
Dave: I really wish I'd edited this part out.

16:07 Guyver + Kenshiro = Lame?

Joel: I know, it doesn't make sense to me either. It might just be that these shows are so good, that goodness is an essential quality of their existence. Thus, by diluting in anyway any aspect of the show, you corrupt them to their very cores, producing Apocalypse Zero. I think its also important to point out that we are not the first people to compare this show to the two mentioned above.
Dave: I doubt that very much! Nobody else on the internet is smart enough to make that comparison, much less actually have the fortitude to WATCH Apocalypse Zero.

18:25 Bear anatomy

Joel: The internet has everything. EVERYTHING.
Dave: Well now that we found that link I won't keep myself up at night anymore!

Mazinger Z

Joel: Missile boobies, while still disquieting, are no where near as bad as the villains in this show.
Dave: Giant robot missle boobs is one of the only funny things that's ever come out of Japan.
Joel: It's not really the same when they're fleshy and attached to a crustacean.
Dave: No, no it's not.

Joel: This is the only picture of one of these guys on the internet, which is a sign of just how bad this anime is.
Dave: Bad for the anime, lucky for the WHOLE HUMAN RACE.

24:01 Wicked City

Joel: The gun is cool. Everything else is not.
Dave: Yeah, maybe if you're a JERK. Wicked City was awesome! You're just mad because Taki Renzaburo did your mom.

25:25 Fraggle Rock

Joel: Man, that is another old, but awesome, reference.
Dave: I trained my whole life to make that crack.

Hang in there, baby.


Daryl Surat said...

There is, in fact, a reason why there are so many short OAVs made where the story was never resolved: it's because they were made in order to get people to read the manga to find out what happens next. Of course, most of the time the OAVs come out here and then the manga never does...BUT NOT THIS TIME!

Apocalypse Zero is awesome. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. Possibly even more awesome than Mad Bull, Angel Cop, and Violence Jack combined. I congratulate (and damn) you for getting to review Apocalypse Zero before I got around to it. For you see, I possess every volume of the Apocalypse Zero manga that Media Blasters has released to date (six volumes of an eventual nine) as well as the DVD. I cherish and love it all. I paid money to own all of this and I do not regret it. Right Stuf actually had a sale in which each volume of Apocalypse Zero was priced at the appropriate price of $6.66. That sale is over, but the DVD can be yours for a mere $7.

Hey, remember that one episode of House of Buggin' about the lost member of the Village People who was a knight in a suit of armor? That was back when every member of that band hadn't come out of the closet, so every other joke in that sketch was about wondering why all of their songs were about men.

Gooberzilla said...


The spotted hyena, contrary to the misinformation popularized in the Sandra Bullock movie Murder By Numbers, does not in fact have a "mock penis". Instead, it has a freakishly large clitoris. The spotted hyena uses its clitoris for excreting, mating, and giving birth. It has no vagina. As a matter of fact, clitoral birth is extremely dangerous and painful, and an estimated 50% of spotted hyena pups die as a result of being smothered during the birthing process.

Scientists believe that this unique, mammalian reproductive arrangement came about as the result of mutation combined with a genetic bottle-neck.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

Dave Riley said...

I don't see the distinction between "freakishly large clitoris" and "mock penis", but then I guess I'm not a scientist. All information I have on the subject comes from my Sophomore Highschool biology class.


Ginrai said...

Hey, I guess that wrestler chick Chyna should change her stage name to The Spotted Hyena.

Joel said...

Good lord Goki, I'm glad you looked that up and not me. Also, have you ever wondered just what type of zoologist finds that sort of thing out? I mean, I understand the desire to understand anatomy, but when a female appears to have a penis, the apropriate response is "ewwwwww," not further investigation.

Gooberzilla said...

Yeah, I stumbled across that interesting tidbit of information in a book I was reading about human mutation, appropriately named Mutants. They talk about the spotted hyena in the chapter dedicated to mutations of the sexual organs and reproductive systems, by way of comparison to hermaphroditism and such.

You have to admit, it's a great conversation-starter at parties; you'll be all kickin' back by the keg, and you can turn to the hottie standing next to you and say: "Did you know that the spotted hyena..."

Mozesh said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mozesh said...

Every time I listen to a new podcast, another part of my view on the world will be shatered. Hyenas this time, what will the fast karate for the gentlemen bring up next time?