Friday, January 05, 2007

Show #75: Did I Just Have Sex?

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This time we talk about Ninja Scroll.

This podcast is about:

Vice (totally hot)

Chinese Hats

Vagina Snakes



James Leung Man-Fai said...

I first got my hands on this anime through VHS tape trading. They translated the title as "Wind Ninja Chronicles". I still call it by that name.

In my highschool Japanimation Club (yes, we really called it japanimation-- ol' school), I showed this movie with all the sex scenes edited out. I went to a conservative private catholic prep school, and I didn't want to get suspended for showing animated porn.

I edited out the scene by pausing the recording on the second tape deck while dubbing the "clean version". My vhs jedi dubbing skills were complete. I was officially a man.

Rock on!!!

MC Burnett said...

Were you talking about Django in the stinger? I hope you weren't talking about Django. Because Django is awesome.

Daryl Surat said...

I presume they were talking about Death Trance, which I have been wanting to see due to its Versus pedigree. Still, Ninja Scroll would have been better had the credits song contained the lyrics o/~ But you've lost her, forevvvver Jubei... o/~

OMG LILY CAT WAS STREAMLINE AND IRIA WAS CPM YOU FAGS! But whoa there, dudes. Double bagging merely guarantees that both condoms will break, thus assuring your poisonous/power-draining demise. The blood of all the impressionable youths that were relying on you to set the record straight after American Pie done led them astray is now on your hands. This blood, incidentally, is infected by AIDS. NOT COOL.

Ninja Scroll (which, so we're clear, HAS NO SCROLL, way to go with the renaming of things to ensure that "ninja" is in the name for your 30% sales boost), is one of those things that, in previous episodes of AWO, I've mentioned as something that somehow I didn't like. After hearing this podcast, I got to thinking "hmm, why do I dislike Ninja Scroll so much?" and I think I have my answer:

I haven't watched Ninja Scroll in about ten years. That was back when I despised Fist of the North Star and hated Jojo's Bizarre Adventure because I felt so sad for that poor US Senator and that dude who just wanted to give an old man a puppy but ended up with his head in a canteen. To say nothing of that guy who got killed by a sledgehammer just because he wouldn't saw off his friend's head. He didn't deserve that. He got the trivia question right. HE GOT THE QUESTION RIGHT! *sob*

That part of me is now dead.

Perhaps now I actually love Ninja Scroll as I do Jojo's and Fist of the North Star and am just in denial. But mark my words, I'd still be pissed at your accurate observation that Jubei totally didn't deserve to win over like, ANY of his opponents except for those almost actual ninjas he fought that one time.

It's good that Catholic high schools are perfectly fine with seeing dudes getting their arms ripped out and having the anime avatar of Keith Burgess drink the blood from the sockets. I like to imagine that the rock guy is the actual person in charge of Manga's operations, what with the actual rocks in his head and all. Clad in a long-sleeved white shirt and tie with suspenders and a coffee mug a la Bill Lumbergh, asking his employees to come in on Saturday to work on Karas. That sounds about right.

I now listen to Fast Karate at work via speakers since earphones cause me physical pain. So now, I always turn the volume up to hear the regular conversation, but I'm never fast enough on the trigger to turn down the volume once the shouting begins so it's like pspsspsptppttpstppFINGERBANG!!!

PS: I have a shameful confession to make. Despite having shown clips of it at cons, I avoided actually seeing MD Geist 1 or 2 all these years until I had to review them a few months back. Said review was recorded mere moments after having watched the DVD for the first time.

The Joel said...

I always wonder if I'll grow out of my fascination with extreme violence. I expect to one day watch an action movie and not feel compelled to start giggling gleefully when I see someone get hay-makered ala what happens to the beast at the end of Kung Fu Hustle (not the buddha's palm). So far, no dice.

The reason I like Ninja Scroll is probably because Jubei is an underdog who wins with flare. All his battles end with a "gotcha moment" similar to war of the worlds. A super powered alien race is taken out by bacteria and a super powered blind samurai failed to realize that a sword was stuck in a tree/ a chick filled gun powder failed to realize her weakness against candles.

Jubei brings my fantasy of being a ninja closer while keeping it more distant than Chris Farely. I can't be a ninja, but if I was confronted by a stone giant who had just violated a poisonous woman, maybe I could shine for just a little while.

James Leung Man-Fai said...

Daryl did you see the Passion of the Christ? It proves that christians and catholics love ultra violent movies. They bought out whole theaters for group shows. In the end, it was really a two hour snuff film for bible belt.

As for the "ninja" gimmick, I'm still recovering from the 3 Ninjas franchise of horror. It spread like the plague, and it wouldn't stop. I think I might have to sacrifice a small virgin child in order to end this madness.

I pray for the return of Sho Kosugi.

Joel, if you want to follow the path of the ninja, you can buy the awful series of instructional ninja books by Steven Hayes. If you don't learn anything from his books, they are unintentionally funny. They usually have bad black and white pictures of jackasses dressed as ninjas. The funniest photos are the action poses and the scaling of small walls.

Perhaps, you too can learn to cry manly tears of shame.

Gooberzilla said...

About the name...

I believe the original title was "Jubei ninpucho", or literally "Wind Warrior Jubei." The idea being that Jubei is so skilled with his sword that it isn't the blade that cuts, but rather a super-heated column of air that procedes the blade, generated by the friction created by Jubei moving his blade so damn fast. This power becomes much more apparent in the sequel TV series, but the TV series blows because Jubei is too goddamn happy in it.

And believe it or not, there actually is one scroll in Ninja Scroll. When Kagero (the poison lady) needs to alert her daimyo about the crazy, gold-stealing shenanigans that are going on, she whistles to a specially-trained clan hawk. When the hawk arrives, she tosses it a tiny, little scroll, which it then delivers to the daimyo.

So, all I can figure is that the rename comes from a two-second piece of film that is so incidental that nobody really remembers it. (^_^) Joy.